PROBLEMS WITH ENGLISH - In English
TEXT MESSAGE SLANG “INVADING GCSE & A LEVELS”.
Teenagers are abandoning basic grammar and punctuation and resorting to text message slang in A Levels & GCSE, Examiners have revealed. They reported that capital letters were used “erratically” by a surprising number of students. Capitals did not feature at the beginning of names, but did appear randomly in the middle of words.
Other common errors included writing one word instead of two - “infact”, “aswell”, “incase”, “eachother” and writing two words instead of one - “no where”, “country side”, “neighbour hood”. A Level markers bemoaned “basic lapses in the use of English” adding that some students “even lacked paragraphs and punctuation”.
Examiners were increasingly struggling to decipher what students had written. Students lost marks because it was impossible to understand their handwriting and lamented “textspeak” . Students now rarely write at length and at speed, apart from in examinations. At GCSE level written exams for the first time will award specific marks for spelling, punctuation and grammar.
November 2012 “40% of 6 year old pupils fail the “back to basics” reading test”.
COURTS NEED 10,000 TRANSLATORS A MONTH
Taxpayer funded translators are being used in Courts at a rate of more that 10,000 per month, figures reveal. The interpreters were called in to provide translations for 163 languages in criminal courts, tribunals, and family cases.
But despite a £90 m contract, APS failed to provide an interpreter in 10% of cases. Just over half were in criminal courts. The most common language translated was Polish followed by Urdu.
LARGE INCREASE IN POPULATION
London has a population of 8m and speaks 300 Languages. 66% are bilingual.
- Manchester has a population of O.5m and speaks 153 Languages . 70% are bilingual.
- 25% of School Leavers lack basic English reading and writing skills.
- Michael Gore, Education Secretary is bringing in a Grammar Test for 11 year olds -incl. spell design, information, alphabet, immediately, will include explaining “present”.
Detective : – “At present, all I need to know is - were you present when he presented the present? ”
Time (now); here (present) ; formal declaration (present – presented); gift (present).
WINSTON CHURCHILL
Wartime Prime Minister, dyslexic Winston Churchill, had a 1882 sSchool Report that said “spelling is as bad as it could be” .
In 1953 he won th Nobel Prize for Literature.
FRIDAYS AT SCHOOL was usually Spelling Tests .
20 Words were listed and students had to make up a sentence which showed what the word meant.
(e.g. Heraklion and Ipsilion are cities in Crete.)
So that students didn’t “cheat”, included in the 20 words there were 3 words that didn’t exist.
Dyslixics can't read words that do exist, so it is no more difficult for them to read words that do not exist.
Unfortunately Ipsi -lion was a drunken lion, so another chance for Teachers to bully and ridicule Dyslexics as the class idiot.
So as not to suffer humiliation in the furure, Dyslexics learnt to spell and remember words that didn't exist which seemed a crazy way to spend the Education Budget?
The only change this millennium seems to be that Teachers put Dyslexics on the Laptop so they don't hold their class up and tell them to correct all words with red underlining.
DYSLEXIA
Have looked up Dyslexia on the internet for the first time ever. When you have something that is incurable and will be with you all your life , do you really want to read about it? In fact I found it fascinating.
Larger Brain - 3 defective/unusual parts on the left hand side. Had a go at the on line assessments - scores confirm I am severely dyslexic. Under the law I could now register myself as disabled. At school, the Teachers spelt Gramps Surname as Fotit; Fottit; Fottitt, Fotitt; Footit; Foottit or Foottitt. The one name the
Teachers seemed unable to spell was the correct one, Footitt. Gramps thought this fair and logical. Gramps could not spell the Teachers’ names or the words they used, so it understandable for the Teachers to always spelt Gramps’ name incorrectly.
PLICITY
“a wonderful word that indicates serenity, peace, happiness, although achieved without the need
to spend money, so could be enjoyed by the poor, even the “poor as a Church Mouse” “.
The RAF, taking in so many recruits for National Service that had spent 10 years at school but could not read or write, had a big problem that had to be tackled by the Education Officers.
One EO was baffled by the use of Plicity, so I explained it was one of the first words I learnt when I was about 3
Every evening before going to bed my Mother made me say:-
" Gentle Jesus, meek and mild, look upon a little child.
Pity mice in plicity, teach me Lord to come to thee"
Around 1850 it was decided that GHOTI spelt Fish:-
f is spelt gh as in cough
i is spelt as o as in women
sh is spelt as in ti as in nation
But a century later it was decided GHOTI spelt silence
Using the same method and reinforcing the original point, ghoti can be a silent word,
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
Th bandaaj was wownd arownd th wuund
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
Th farm was uusd too produus prodyuus.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
Th dump was soo ful that it had to refuus moor refyuus
4) We must polish the Polish silverware.
We must polish th Powlish silverwaar
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
He cud leed if he wud get th led owt
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Th sowljer deciided too dezurt his deezert in th dezet.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
Siins thair is no tiim liik th present, he thort it was tiim to preesent the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
A bas was paynted on th hed of th baas drum
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
Wen shot at th duv doov into th bushs
10) I did not object to the object.
I did not object to th object
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
Th insuurans was invalid for th invaaliid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
Thair was a row among th orsmen abowt how to roow
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
They wer too cloos too th door to clows it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
Th buck dus funy things wen th doows r present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
A seemstres and a sower fel down into a sewer liin.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
To help with planting th faarmer tort his soow to sew.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
Th wind was too strong too wiind th sayl
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
After a number of injekshons my jaaw got nummer.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
Upon seeing th tair in th painting I shed a teer.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
I had to subject th suubject to a seerees of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
How can I intimaat this to my mowst intimut frend?
SILENT "e" PROBLEM.
- Yorkshireman - religious wife died.
- Telephoned Stone Mason with wording for Headstone “SHE WAS THINE”.
- Visited Graveyard and read on Headstone “SHE WAS THIN”.
- Telephoned Stonemason- “That’s no good, you have left off the “E”.
- “Sorry, we’ll put it on for the next time you visit”.
- Yorshireman revisits graveyard and reads “EE, SHE WAS THIN”.